A Father’s Day Letter

My dad picked me up from elementary school one day. I was feeling especially spoiled that day because my dad hardly ever had the chance to pick me up from school. We were driving around the big traffic circle (that’s what everyone called it) in our small town, when I said to him, “if I ever get another dad, I’m going to call him poop-head.” I think that’s pretty much verbatim.

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I can’t be critical of fatherhood the way I was about motherhood because I have never, and probably will never, father a child via ejaculation from a male sex organ of my own. However, judging by the comical quotes of men like Steven Colbert, Paul Rudd, and Jimmy Kimmel, I can deduce that you all go just as crazy as moms.

I held a grudge against my dad for a couple of years when he moved me away from my friends back home in Arizona. I was angry for a long time, believing that he had moved us just to spite me (because I had gotten in trouble at school the day that he revealed the news of our move). Of course I saw this as matter of me, me, me, woe is me!. However, if it weren’t for this angst-ridden period in my life, then I wouldn’t have become such an avid reader and writer.   It wasn’t until I reached 19 or so that I realized that you were the one who made the largest sacrifice. You moved away from your own hometown and your mother for ten years in order to give us the very comfortable life we have today. Thank you for everything you have given us (I’ll forgive you for the Barbie Jeep and the pony that I never received). Also, you may have failed at teaching me how to swim, but you have taught me many a thing about life and that Dodge has transmission problems. Thank you for being a fantastic grandpa to Sebastian. You give him what we can’t always afford to give him ourselves.

The biggest things I have to give thanks for are the introductions to hair bands at a young, impressionable age, and Star Wars, which would go on to affect me for the rest of my life (so far). You’ve made me a geek, a social outcast, a Jeopardy nerd, a person with outdated interests, and I thank you. Too bad I now have these delusions that I can hit notes just like Steve Perry.

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To Mauricio: you’re still in the picture. What else is there to say? It goes without saying that Sebastian and I are grateful for everything you give us (lots of Whataburger and trips to HEB). I only hope that someday I can return all of this to you tenfold. Also, thanks for not asking me to marry you (yet), otherwise I’ll lose coverage from my dad’s insurance.

Sebastian and I appreciate you both.

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